Samuel Eto'o: The Goal Machine
I saw Eto'o Power first-hand in the summer of 2004. I was visiting Paris, doing my cultural critic thing, too much eating, drinking, dancing, flirting with the ladies, and witnessing first-hand the heavy manners of les flics. When it comes to dealing with any folks of color, once they are out of their 'natural' home environment in suburbs like Les Ulis, Essone, and easier to railroad in the central arrondissements of the city, the Paris police have a tendency to exercise brutality first and voice regret much later. It was Makossa night at the Olympia stadium. A concert featuring three of my favorite acts Manu Di bango, Moni Bité and the awesome Petit-Pays. I was naively expecting just a lot of dancing and joy. There were tens of thousands of Bantu-speaking Cameroonians, a few in Chicago Bulls' singlets featuring MJ’s number 23, but most of them dressed in the national green-and-yellow soccer shirt, a few in Barcelona colors, all of them with the number 9 and the name Eto'o (pronounced E-toe-woe). Closer to the stadium, we saw hundreds of cops in battle-dress and more than a few 'unruly' types being pulled out of line and beaten with batons. After the fact, I learned that a lot of people had forged tickets. Whatever their reasons, it still had the look of a police riot to me. Once a few people began fighting back, the vibe got very bad. I wished I had a baton of my own. I wished I had a video camera. And then, as the fighting got closer, I wished I wasn't there. Then a small miracle happened. He arrived! Samuel Eto'o, his bad self, immaculately tailored in a light-green, nine-button silk suit, surrounded by a protective entourage. Very good looking in a baby-faced sort of way, tall and graceful, he raised his arms and the crowd parted. Things got very very quiet. The cops backed away. From the entrance, he shouted, "Tout va biens!" ('Everything is okay!'). And just like that: Everything was okay.
Samuel Eto’o is 5’11’, 145 lbs of coiled snake. An unstoppable force, Eto’o is quick enough to outrun any thuggish center-back assigned to mark him. A striker’s job is not complicated. He scores goals. A center-back’s job is not complicated, either. He is supposed to stop the striker, by any means necessary. Handsome, rich and famous, Eto'o gets his shirt pulled, his ribs elbowed, his knees, shins and ankles beaten and kicked. It has only been recently, now that he's entered the pantheon of superstars like his teammate Ronaldinho, David Beckham, Thierry Henry, Zinodine Zidane and Francesco Totti, that referees have begun to protect him from the kind of viciously overt fouls he use to put up with quietly. Playing in Spain is not easy. In La Liga the tackling is nowhere near as vicious as in the English Premier League, the German Bundesliga, or back in Cameroon. Yet, when he's not playing at Barcelona's Nou Camp stadium, Eto'o is subject to a constant barrage of racist chanting. This treatment is particularly bad when Barcelona play away to Real Madrid where thousands of fans dress in monkey suits and throw bananas at him and Barca's other black contingent. He may hate the racism of Spaniards in general, but he's a king both in his native Cameroon and in beautiful Barcelona.
Samuel Eto'o was born on March 10, 1981 in the city of Nkon. Despite great poverty and the difficulty of feeding eighteen children, Eto'o's parents refused to let him enter any of the scores of football academies that recruit children as young as eight. Only when he was fifteen, and had a grounding in the basics, did they allow him to enter the exclusive Kudji Sports Academy. Five months later, observed by one of Real Madrid's thousands of scouts, Samuel moved to Spain to play for Real's reserve club. Loaned out to lower division clubs at CD Leganés in 1997-98 and Real Mallorca, 1999-2004, Eto'o scored a record 161 goals and helped each secure promotion. Already a star for the Cameroon national team at the age of 15, Eto'o captained them to the Olympic Gold Medal in Sidney, Australia in 2000 and to two African Nations Cup wins in 2000 and 2002. These three victories were awesome triumphs for a small, poor country with a miniscule budget. Shocking when you consider that Saudi Arabia spend over $80,000,000 per annum on their soccer academies and the relative wealth of the European and South American systems.
In the summer of 2004, Barcelona purchased Samuel from Real Madrid for $38,000,000. A good team, featuring the silky skills of the Brazilian ball wizard, Ronaldinho, became a great team. Eto'o proved unstoppable and Barca won La Liga's championship handily. In 2005-2006, Barcelona retained the Spanish championship and also won the European Champions League Cup. After scoring 26 goals in La Liga, Eto'o was awarded the Pichichi award as Spain's top goal scorer. This season, 2006-07, has been a troublesome one for him. Cameroon did not qualify for the World Cup and Eto'o's knees finally gave out after undergoing so many years of physical abuse. The cruciate ligaments on both of his legs had to be rebuilt. Returning to play for the last few games of the season, Eto'o helped revive a side that simply didn't score without him, knocking in 9 goals. This time they came up short, finishing second to Real Madrid.
"Next season will be different," my Cameroonian friend Jean-Jules said on the phone from Les Ulis last week. "Eto'o c'est trés trés biens encore. De temps en temps l'homme et plus grande que nature!" ('Eto'o will be very very good again. Now and again, a man can defy nature!')
"Well, yeah, sure!" I said. "He'll be 100% again."
If you own a dish, check out the Spanish league games come fall, otherwise find a bar where Barcelona games show and check him out for yourself.